Ummm, yeah....well, that didn't work out.

Almost a year ago, I followed advice I saw online about setting goals--not resolutions, goals, there's a difference, I think--for the new year which is now the old year (that is, 2008).

Ummm, yeah, some of those goals weren't achieved, but I'm a bit surprised now to see what I wrote then and see that I did work on many of them:

Goals for 2008

-Go to the doctor and dentist regularly, scheduling appointments in the 1st quarter of 2008.
That's affirmative for the dentist. I did go to the doctor, but in the 2nd quarter. However, I've been to the dentists so many times this year I think I get A-plus-plus for effort on this goal.

-Make new decisions about finances.
Do the multiple trips to the dentists count as decisions about finances? They should.

-Walk or exercise at least 4 days per week, 30-60 min. per day.
Surprisingly, I did do this until around the end of September.

-Make everything I own useful or beautiful.
Yeah...no, didn't happen, but the thought persists.

-Become a Photoshop expert!
Uhh...again, no, but I do know more now than then.

-Read at least 1 book a month, ideally 2 per month.
No, and this one hurts the most considering I'm a librarian. I check out tons of books, but I ended up not reading 1 book a month.

-Go to bed early at least 5 nights per week.
Again, no, although this would have been a really good idea. I end up feeling ill and stressed out far more than necessary because I don't go to bed early enough.

-Continue to avoid alcohol.
Yes! And, I feel a lot better for it.

-Work on or learn a new craft.
No, didn't happen.

-Carefully consider sugar and caffeine intake.
Yes, well, I considered it. I could have reduced it more than I did, but I did consider it.

-Avoid unnecessary emotional dramas.
Yes!

-Eliminate negative self-talk.
Uhh, probably not. See that recent "What I Don't Suck At" post for confirmation that this didn't take hold.

-Avoid worrying, embrace action instead.
Well, I'm a bit better about not worrying so much, but I could work on this a lot more.

But, I wasn't exposing any skin!

As a teenager out shopping with my mom, I'd get so exasperated by her nearly universal unwillingness to go try things on in a dressing room. I'd say, "Why don't you try this on to see if it fits?" She'd say, "Oh, I think it will fit; if not, I'll bring it back." She told me once that she didn't want to go through the bother of 'wopsing' her clothes off and then putting them back on.

I thought she was nuts.........but now I do it, too.....sometimes.....for the same reason she did....and as often as possible.

Except, I don't not try things on......I try on clothes over my clothes.

This doesn't work all the time:

(1) This method is very much dependent on what you are wearing when you look for other clothes--it's best not to be wearing things that are bulky or baggy.

(2) It practically requires a full-length mirror out in the store rather than only in the dressing rooms.

(3) Some stores give off a vibe that this kind of thing "just isn't cool."

(4) Some clothes just have to be tried on without other clothes underneath them or call out for a three-way mirror so you can see the view from behind.

But, it's useful in all sorts of situations: jackets, of course, really don't require a special trip to a dressing room, sweaters are the same, and I've found that T-shirts don't either.

So, recently I was in a store and had picked up several non-clothing items to purchase when I came upon exactly the sort of skirt I had been wanting--on clearance! Now, I didn't want to trek to the dressing room, leaving my non-clothing items with the dressing room gatekeeper, take (or 'wopse') my clothes off, try on the skirt and then maybe have to do it again to try on another size.

No, I took the skirt over to the nearby full-length mirror and put it on over my jeans. So cute! But a size too big because it fit fine over my jeans. I took a few steps and got another size. It did fit over the jeans but much tighter: success!

As I was stepping out of the skirt and putting it back on its hanger, a sales clerk came over to me and said, "You know security can see you, right?"

Huh? I wasn't slipping merchandise under my shirt--just over my pants! And, it's not like I took my pants off in the middle of the store.

I said, "That's alright. I'm not stealing anything!"
"Yeah, I know. But some people don't know security can see them here."
"Lady, I didn't need to be reminded I'm in the panopticon!"

OK I didn't say that, although I wish I had. Instead I said, "Well, I guess they can have a good laugh, makes their job interesting today," and moved away from her.

You'd think she'd never seen someone trying clothes on over her clothes!

I felt eyes on me as I paid and was sure I was going to be tackled right outside the exit door. I imagine thieves don't feel such guilt. Here I was racked with guilt, but I'd paid for all my merchandise!

Bah-Humbug! or Woo-Hoo!: I'm on the fence.

I don't hate Christmas--look, I didn't write "xmas"!--but I do despise Obligation Christmas Gifts.

I don't know if someone has coined a clever name for what I'm talking about, but I know you know what I mean if you've every worked somewhere--especially an office--with other people at Christmastime. I refer to the practice of giving a gift (of something, usually something small and inexpensive) to everyone who works with you or in your department or at your shop. (And, I mean everyone, whether you know them or they know you, regardless of whether you've ever spoken to each other....EVERYONE!)

I don't hate Christmas gifts. I love to give gifts. I love to receive gifts. I love gifts that mean something: a gift that I know (or think I know) the recipient will enjoy or get a chuckle out of.

Obligation Christmas Gifts (OCG) are the opposite of meaningful gifts. I find them so impersonal they are depressing.....unless the gift to everyone is candy, baked goods or one of those cocoa mix deals packaged with a pretty, seasonal mug--those options are all A-OK to me.

Last year my place of work was knee-deep in OCG. This year has been okay--I credit/blame the bleak economy for co-workers eliminating unnecessary spending.

This morning, however, when I got to work there was an envelope on my chair. It was an envelope addressed to....well, "To:". Yes, "To:", no name, just "To:".

Note: If you can't be bothered to write a person's name on the envelope you are about to give, or hey, maybe you don't even know the name, you are about to give an obligatory gift. Please stop immediately and reconsider what you are about to do.

I opened the envelope meant for "To:" and found a pretty card with 2 lottery tickets inside.

Lottery tickets...damn!

I was all ready to despise the giver for the "To:", surely the height of impersonal giving, but lottery tickets dampened my righteous indignation. I think lottery tickets are a decent gift. Give lottery tickets and you could be giving someone the ticket out of a lifetime of working for the man.

So, I'm torn: Does "To:" trump lottery tickets? Or do lottery tickets compensate for "To:"?

This won't change my overall view of OCG--please, just say no to OCG--but I'd be willing to put lottery tickets in the acceptable list with candy, baked goods and cocoa mix.

What I Don't Suck At

I read this post last month and thought I needed to make a list of things I don't suck at for myself. "Why?" you ask. You see, on the way to work, during work, and upon leaving work, I regularly find I'm thinking, "Ughhh, I suck! I suck so bad."

It's taken quite a while to get into the proper mindset for making the list. When I'm feeling really positive, a list of things I don't suck at seems silly. Then, when I'm feeling really negative, I can't think of anything that I don't suck at for a list. Like Goldilocks, I've had to wait for the day when I'm not feeling too positive or too negative, but feeling just negative and positive enough.

I want this list to remind me on my least hopeful days what I don't completely suck at.


I don't suck at....

....remembering stuff: details, numbers, names, facts, trivia, etc. (For a librarian, a good memory really comes in handy.)

....using Photoshop. (I'm no expert, but I can do what I need to with it.)

....coordinating/matching colors. (I don't mean clothes but choosing colors that "go" for flyers, posters, and stuff like that.)

....teaching stuff to other people. (If I can do it, I can teach someone else to do it.)

....learning to do new stuff. (Sometimes I feel like I could learn how to do anything that I wanted to do, but realistically, I know I'm a quick study and could learn most things I would need to if I put my mind to it.)

....looking at the big picture.

....paying attention to details.

....troubleshooting--computer or other problems. (I'm much more empirical than I would have ever thought possible several years ago.)

....being entertaining and generally pleasant to be around. (I worry often about coming across as annoying or obnoxious--whatever the hell obnoxious means!--but if I'm honest with myself, I know there's no real evidence to support that fear.)

....being clever, novel, and creative (within my job duties).

....thinking quickly (although I seldom make decisions quickly).

....trying to make newcomers feel welcome and included.

....finding information. (This is really important for librarians.)

....proofreading other people's work, but not my own so much.

....typing. (Man, I love to type.)


Now I feel lame, but if I can ever come up with more items, I'll add them.

What a day!

Today is our father's 66th birthday AND exactly 6 years since I graduated from library school.

(Yes, I see that's 3 sixes: I once had a library patron who didn't want to get a card because the number underneath her card's barcode had 2 sixes next to each other and then a third six farther along in the string. I dug through the stack of new cards until I found one for her with just the 2 sixes. Even then, she was worried.)

Six years of librarian-ing! I never would have imagined it.

By popular demand... sort of

Commenters in Sister's post prior to this one (go ahead and read it, I'll wait) have asked that I share my scented candle preferences. Well, one commenter, anyway... which is pretty much a quorum as far as this blog is concerned.

I have to confess I find the whole "candle" thing a bit off-putting. Any time I leave my apartment, I obsessively check to make sure all heat-producing devices are turned off. I keep most of my appliances unplugged except when actually using them. I have my little space heater sitting on a 50-pound iron barbell plate, to provide a buffer between it and the presumably-combustible carpet. The idea of maintaining an OPEN FLAME in my living quarters doesn't exactly appeal to me.

Assuming some sort of non-flame-driven scent-releasing device, I still have trouble thinking of scents for it.... most of the smells I can think of are unpleasant ones.
People tend to smell bad. Markers and paints and cleaning products and alcohols (pretty much all the volatiles, actually) such have a sort of "itchy" scent that reminds me of being dragged into carpet stores as a kid -- my eyes always started burning from the chemicals outgassing from fifty tons of synthetic fibers in an enclosed space. I don't like new-car smell, either, despite years of stand-up comedy pushing the idea that if perfume was actually intended to appeal to men, it would smell like a new car.

Good ones include: meat being grilled outdoors, the air just before a storm, and newly-mown grass. Some kinds of wood smell pretty good when they're run through a table saw. Steel has an interesting smell when it's recently been machined in a lathe, but it's a very weak scent and probably unsuitable as a household accent. Really, most of the scents I like come from food. I suppose that makes sense in the obvious Darwinian way.

The scent of gun solvent was suggested. I've heard many older shooters endorse Hoppe's #9 as having a distinctive aroma, but I've always used Break-Free (an uninteresting scent, in my opinion) so I can't comment on that.

Really, the best scented candle I can think of would be one which just neutralizes all the offensive smells that already fill the modern world -- human sweat, carpet fibers, cleaning products, plastics, markers, car exhaust, dirty socks, etc. -- without adding its own stink to the mixture.